It has been cold in the Sunshine State. Chilled winds have persisted and knocked the breath out of us northerners, unused to the bitterness of cold winters. On those icy winds old mumma death flew into our lives and plucked a few souls away into the otherworld. Death, that punctuation mark at the end of our lives, so final and unforgiving. It comes, edging ever closer to us all. At my Grandmother's funeral the minister spoke about how grief forces us to confront our own mortality, and it does. Twice in this past decade I have experienced the death of others in small clusters parenthesised by weeks and it is strange to me that it should come so forcefully and all at once like that. So it goes, this merry-go-round of life. This is how we suffer and learn to open and strengthen our hearts, for compassion is a great strength - life teaches me this more and more.
Grief spun me around and turned me inside out for a while there. I forgot to eat well and drink less, I indulged in bad habits, overindulged in sloth, and neglected the yoga matt for weeks. But I suppose it is to be expected, and thankfully this week I have found my footing again. I kind of had to because the winds of change keep demanding that I soldier on...
We are now in our final two months of our time here in Brisbane. We leave for Perth at the very start of August and it is crunch time in terms of organising our move. The more I do, the more I see there is to do! Small steps every day seem to be all I can muster at the moment, but I feel like we're nearly at the top of the mountain having sold the house and set a date to move. Once the removalists are locked in, we secure a rental, book our flights and sort out the cat transport I'll rest a lot easier. Then it's just packing and cleaning and waiting, and that's manageable in my head.
Amongst all of this I turned 45! Oh me, oh my, I'm 45! Some days I feel like I'm still 16, others I feel 6o, but you know what, I like this middle age malarkie - it's freeing and fun! It's taken me a long time to learn to enjoy the moment but I'm ever so grateful to be here on this beautiful, broken planet. Life here on earth is really so incredibly mind-blowing when you really think about it. I mean, today I found a sweet bird's nest at the base of a small tree and I picked it up and brought it home to add to my collection of other nests, thinking all the while about the little birds that created and lived in its marvellously constructed cushion of leaves and bark. It's just all so beautiful it makes me cry in reverence. Truly, I am so grateful for this life.
Anyway, I wrote a thing to remind me to live in the world and not through a screen. I thought I'd share it with you:
Ok salty friends, I hope all is well and beautiful in your world, and that you are keeping warm against this chill. I'm going to go and do number 64 on my list! Take care. xx